Hate is an incredibly harsh word filled with negativity and derogatory commendations.
They say there is a fine line between love and hate.I can see clearly now as to why.Both emotions can make you carry out irrational acts at times.
Love/Hate .
Definity two of the powerful emotions one can have.
The feelings i have for you are very complex yet simple at the same time.
Everything about us has been a complete roller coaster.
Pumps the adrenaline ,fires me up,makes me laugh and makes me cry.
Makes me wanna do bad things to you
We started out great, i really was into you,started to really like you.
Loved having you in your cage and sitting on the floor taunting you.
It became a highlight of my day.
Your witty humor and dry sarcasm i adored.
You Ran Away
It made me angry, confused me as it was contrary to what you expressed were your desires as a slave.
I found you
Stumbled upon you in the same spot we met.
I hesitated to message you. No longer on my friends list i was unsure as to how my message would be received.
I question my intentions when i messaged you, i was excited to see you, yet wanted to mess with you,toy with you and toss you in the cage for my amusement.
I really missed that cage!
Or was it ...............................
Who was in the cage?
I made you beg for my collar again.
Perhaps part of me even collared you out of revenge
We talked, laughed and played
Grew close
I let you get close again
Once again you dissapeared, not from running away this time but your health.
I understood, but felt incredibly isolated as to not knowing why or what was wrong, and you where gone so long!
I thought ,*well maybe i`m simply a kink* to him.
I put a wall up thinking to myself, he will NOT get in again, he cannot will not have that piece of me.
You c`ant have my heart, and you w`ont use my mind.
But do what you want with my body
Sometimes I'm scared I suppose
If you ever let me go
I would fall apart
If you break my heart
So just take my body
And don't stop the party
Then came Yahoo, the fabulous little message box.
As you healed, we talked.
Once again, your incredible character and wittiness charmed me.
However this time, it being not on SL, it was personal and became RL not fantasy or role play, not that it was before, you just where able to come and get me on a human level.On a deep level,touching my womanhood.I have not had that experience with anyone from SL, not RL either,
* I was not passionate bout my husband/slave at all )devoted and loyal yes,, passionate no.
Looking back, i can say i married him because he was submissive and i knew i was dominant, although still experimenting. More than that though he needed a mother for his young 3 children who where motherless,and although dominant i have a deep sensitive side and need to take care of others,and those kids needed me.I raised them well ,taught the boys to work hard and respect women, taught the girl to be strong and independent of any man ever.! Weak women sicken me .lol, shocker! *
We developed a certain level of personalization talking in RL,it was a different level.
Somehow it was apart from the world we hide behind in SL.
You came back again.
I was delighted, I felt deeper and more.
There something about the feeling and adoration i have for you as my slave, the things you do for me, endure for me, make me feel a combination of emotions,ranging from lust,passion,passionate aggression and appreciation.
However i was still very guarded from the previous 2 knife wounds.
Then came your voice. That precious delicious sexy voice and the level of excitement that pulses through my body and for the first time i could see your devotion.
It took me deeper.
Put a Human touch to you.
You Ran again
I was enraged, furious,hurt,and yes crushed so so fucking crushed.
Devastated when you deleted me from your list and profile
Too angry to chase you
I was not going to let you fuck with me again
Not a day went by i did not think of you
Not one !
The missing
The wondering
Regrets
Torture
I Cant rember to forget you
You came back, my joy had returned.
I was hopeful
I let you through the barrier again.
Happiness once again returned
The *the Blow out*
When you took that collar off.
My heart sank,
Hard to describe what i felt.
Was like a sick feeling in my stomach
I was shaking
Was very hard to control my emotions and keep my dominance.
But i knew one thing, You where not going anywhere,, NOT on my watch!
You allowed me for the first time to see you, see inside you, and see your emotions.
I was no longer alone in this relationship
And i think i felt for the first time,
I actually felt like your Goddess
Not just a kink
And i wanted to be your ultimate Goddess
I looked in the mirror and saw my flaws
Saw that i had made mistakes too
I knew what i had to do
It had to start with me giving you back some power
This Goddess did`nt want to loose what she loved and worked so hard for.
Did not want to loose what was mine
Did not want to loose *Us*
Did not want to loose what could be
Did not want to loose you!
I knew then. I would do whatever it took to make us better
To make me better
And to give you the Goddess you deserved
The Goddess you expressed you needed
In return i got the slave i have always needed and have dreamed of.
To say that our relationship is complicated is an understatement. Yet Your right. It is simple as well. No matter what happens, what the universe throws at us, how much my pride tries to take over and rule things. There is one constant that will never change, that can never be denied. i am YOUR slave. i can runaway but will never survive because i am YOUR slave. i can try and deny it, tell myself I am strong and can live without You but i am just fooling myself because i am YOUR slave.
I have given myself to You, and You have taken what You want. And You know that is what I need. what we both need. I am no doormat. Had i been You may have been amused with me for a time but You would have discarded me long ago. No we feed off of each other. You feel my strength and need to break me. I feel Your strength and need to feed it. Make You stronger still. The more You take the more I want to give. It is a viscous cycle but we both love it, need it and even when things get hard, when we try to deny it even exists, we keep coming back because we cant give it up. We cant give US up.
I dont even understand me at times. I know I am Your slave. I know that I live for Your pleasure and happiness. I really, truly want and need You to use me and I endure to prove my worth, my desire, devotion to YOU and only YOU. Like I said we feed off of each other and that is one of the reasons we are so good together, why are relationship is so volatile. Because we are so passionate about each other and our Goddess/slave relationship.
The one test we have failed at though, the one thing that tears us apart because we have not figured out how to control it is the insertion of another slave. my pride and jealous nature wins out every time and to this point has defeated us in reaching that, at least to me, ultimate level of slavery. I think it is a weakness on both our parts why we can not achieve this. And maybe we never will, maybe it is beyond our reach. My weakness being that I can not share You, I want to give that ultimate sacrifice yet when the opportunity comes my pride wont let me. my jealous nature takes over and I fight and run.
Your weakness, as i perceive it anyway and I could be totally wrong, is that You care too much for me and You can not find the strength, the power, the control to force it upon me and so You make an attempt to hide it. In hiding it I feel that I am loosing You and my natural reaction to that is to run.
So perhaps we will never reach that level, we will leave it for the stories and threats. We have so many things that drive us, make us stronger and bring us together that we may be best to not toy with that facet of slavery to ensure our survival.
The bottom line though, what keeps me comming back for more, what keeps Your heel on my neck is that You own me, my body, my soul, my heart and I am now, and forever, Your loving and devoted slave.
To say that our relationship is complicated is an understatement. Yet Your right. It is simple as well. No matter what happens, what the universe throws at us, how much my pride tries to take over and rule things. There is one constant that will never change, that can never be denied. i am YOUR slave. i can runaway but will never survive because i am YOUR slave. i can try and deny it, tell myself I am strong and can live without You but i am just fooling myself because i am YOUR slave.
ReplyDeleteI have given myself to You, and You have taken what You want. And You know that is what I need. what we both need. I am no doormat. Had i been You may have been amused with me for a time but You would have discarded me long ago. No we feed off of each other. You feel my strength and need to break me. I feel Your strength and need to feed it. Make You stronger still. The more You take the more I want to give. It is a viscous cycle but we both love it, need it and even when things get hard, when we try to deny it even exists, we keep coming back because we cant give it up. We cant give US up.
I dont even understand me at times. I know I am Your slave. I know that I live for Your pleasure and happiness. I really, truly want and need You to use me and I endure to prove my worth, my desire, devotion to YOU and only YOU. Like I said we feed off of each other and that is one of the reasons we are so good together, why are relationship is so volatile. Because we are so passionate about each other and our Goddess/slave relationship.
The one test we have failed at though, the one thing that tears us apart because we have not figured out how to control it is the insertion of another slave. my pride and jealous nature wins out every time and to this point has defeated us in reaching that, at least to me, ultimate level of slavery. I think it is a weakness on both our parts why we can not achieve this. And maybe we never will, maybe it is beyond our reach. My weakness being that I can not share You, I want to give that ultimate sacrifice yet when the opportunity comes my pride wont let me. my jealous nature takes over and I fight and run.
Your weakness, as i perceive it anyway and I could be totally wrong, is that You care too much for me and You can not find the strength, the power, the control to force it upon me and so You make an attempt to hide it. In hiding it I feel that I am loosing You and my natural reaction to that is to run.
So perhaps we will never reach that level, we will leave it for the stories and threats. We have so many things that drive us, make us stronger and bring us together that we may be best to not toy with that facet of slavery to ensure our survival.
The bottom line though, what keeps me comming back for more, what keeps Your heel on my neck is that You own me, my body, my soul, my heart and I am now, and forever, Your loving and devoted slave.